Its been two long year sence i heard the sound of your voice. The shape of your fuzzy red hair in the morings, the crackle of ur luaghter, that big goofy bulge of grizz layiing between ur teeth n gums. But even thou i cant be in heaven to have ur back, i know in my heart ur right here with me standing ur ground right beside me agasnest any battle. I know they say that your born alone n die alone. But their wrong. U wasnt the only one leaveing that day. Alittle bit every one of us had gone, alittle of each of us was burined that day. Their hasnt been one day that has gone by that u didnt run acrosss my mind. Me, u n nick the son's of breathitt. But one day ill get to see u but in the bible it teel us we wont know each other, but as i speak right now i know u hear me calling ur name n giving u my love in a prayer. Its been hard but ill keep pushing forward. For always in my heart. I miss u little brother... r.i.p kaleb "red" turner.
Rebel born
Rebel breed
we'll be backwoods badass's
Till the day we're all dead
I remember going to the bank or to get something to eat many days and I would pass Kaleb walking home or standing outside his house looking at his vehicle his mom had bought him earlier this year. I would always blow at him and he would always wave back at me. You could never miss his walk or his smile, or even his red hair. They were all one of a kind. I also remember him coming in to work and down loading music rings to my cell phone. Of course, being a teenager he had some rings that were not appropriate for me to have and I had to screen what he downloaded for me. He knew how to download everyones cell phone. I miss him not coming in to our work place after school to pick up his younger brother Hunter and take him home. Sometimes he would stop by with his friends after school too. He was always a very well mannered, well behaved young man in our work place. I miss him.
I was 17 when I found out that I was pregnant with Kaleb. I was a senior in High School.
The day before I had him, I was told by the DR. that it was a girl. Remembering now, I was so happy, but something just wasn't right.
At 29 weeks, Kaleb decided to meet the world. He always had to do everything on his own time. Kaleb was born May 19, 1992 at 7:05 pm. He weighed 8 1/2 lbs. and was 21 inches long.
The DR. told me it's a boy, I remember telling him, nope you’re wrong, look again. But he was right. When the DR. laid him in my arms, I checked his fingers, toes, making sure he was ok, since he was soo early. He was perfect. At that moment, was when the name Kaleb Alan, came into my mind. He was so beautiful. So little, And ALL MINE. Because you see, at that time, my family was going through many trials, and I wanted something all for myself, that's why I had Kaleb.
The night that I had him, when everybody left, the halls were dark, and I walked from my room to the nursery to get Kaleb. As I pushed his cradle back to my room. I looked at him, looking at me and knew then that everything in my life was forever changed. Back in the room, i just held him, cause it just didn't seem real.
Over the years, Kaleb and I went through a lot of things together, but were always by each other's side. I watch my baby grow. Still so beautiful as the day he was born.
Kaleb usually calls me Momma, Mom when he was mad, and Mommy when he wanted something. Which was usually all the time.
Kaleb could melt your heart with his smile.
When Kaleb's little brother, Hunter was born, Kaleb thought it was neat to be a big brother. Oh but how they would fight. Over the years, when they thought no one was looking, they were so caring over each other. Protective over each other. I would look at them and think how much I loved my boys. I look at Hunter, and see Kaleb. They do look so much alike. If not for this little boy, I would not go on. Hunter has been so good thru this. Kaleb would be proud of him.
I remember arguing about his hair, he wanted to let it grow out, and I didn't. But Kaleb always got his way, he told me that all the girls love his hair.
I remember every year on his birthday; we would get into a cake fight and chase each other with handfuls of cake around the house. And how last year, he wanted brownies and spent an hour picking them out of his nose and ears.
I remember trying to cook, while Kaleb would lean over my shoulder trying to get a taste of whatever it was I was cooking.
I remember how Kaleb would joke with me on being so much shorter than him. He would stand tall in front of me and say, “My little Mommy”.
I remember how he and Claude would sit and argue over NASCAR races and who would win. Watching Football games together, collecting cars. See that was their thing, Claude loved to take Kaleb to car shows. They would go all over. I remember him calling Claude, Daddy, when he wanted him to let him go somewhere.
I remember going to his football games, watching him. He loves that game. I remember when he was playing against Derek Combs and Kaleb deflected a pass. You could hear the bone break in the stands. But you know, Kaleb ended up catching that ball, and running in for a touch down. I went down there but he wouldn't leave the field. After the game was over, I took him to the ER and they put his arm in cast. But that didn't last long, cause Kaleb wanted everyone to think he was tuff, so a week before it was supposed to come off, Kaleb took it off anyway.
Once in high school, I as so worried about him. I worried about all the things that parents do. Kaleb would always assure me, he was being good. Usually every week, we would talk about actually going to school a full week. Kaleb would always call me, to come get him, either out of trouble or he didn't feel good.
Back in the early spring, I had surgery to remove a very large tumor. I remember Kaleb and Greg telling me that they both wanted to be the first ones I saw when I woke up. They kept that promise. When I woke up, Kaleb was right there with Greg standing by his side.
On Sunday, Kaleb went with me to pick up his brother in Hazard; we talked the whole way, while listening to his music. Little did I know these would be some of the last moments alone with him. I told him how much loved him. He told me he loved me too. We went home and I fixed Spaghetti. He ate; he played his game while talking to TJ on the phone. He came into the living and sat in my lap and told me he was sorry for getting into trouble over the weekend and I just hugged him and told him everything would be all right. He went to Claude and Claude told him, son, I’ll take care of everything.
As we were all getting ready to go bed, I went into his room, and popped him on the butt and told him Mommy loves you, and he pulled me down and kissed me and told me he loved me too. Not knowing that just in a few short hours, my whole world would be changed forever, once again.
These were the last words between me and Kaleb.
After, when I went to Kaleb, I held him, just as I did when he was a baby, thinking again, this cannot be real. This is not happening. Trying to replay every moment, every word, every glance, which seems now to have been stolen from me. Holding my baby boy, try to pray life back into his body. But it was too late.
Now I sit, thinking how young Kaleb was, wondering why God needed him now, cause I still needed him. And cannot get any answers, any relief. WHY OH GOD WHY!!!!!
Hunter keeps telling me, Momma, Kaleb is with us, just close your eyes and take a deep breath and he’ll be right there. I am grateful for Hunter, to be 9 yrs old; he has more faith than more adults I know. I am appreciative for the time God allowed me to have with Kaleb and I feel so blessed to have been chosen by God to be the Mother of Kaleb Alan and Hunter Garrett.
